


Stitch Yourself Back Together

by story_telling_sage



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Raven!Neil, Tags will be updated with story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:37:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/story_telling_sage/pseuds/story_telling_sage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David Wymack did not get paid enough for this. He got paid to coach a Class I Exy team. He got paid not make sure Andrew didn’t actually murder anyone. He got paid to get his kids to the court and whip their asses into shape. He probably didn’t get paid enough to deal with traumatized, violent teenagers on a daily basis but he walked right into that one on his own and refused to regret it.</p>
<p>He did not get paid to come to his office only to have the door blocked by a vaguely human shaped bleeding mess.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>In which Nathaniel Wesninski never became Neil Josten. When he and his mother ran they were caught and Nathan's transaction went through with the Moriyamas. In this world Nathaniel wears the #3 on his cheek until Riko takes things too far and decides to send a message.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This Is What Hollows (discontinued)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846097) by [constellationqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/constellationqueen/pseuds/constellationqueen). 



> This story starts out pre-canon during the spring after Kevin's hand is broken. The idea of Raven!Neil has stolen my heart so here it is. It will follow the events of canon as well.
> 
> Some dialogue is borrowed from The Foxhole Court. All characters belong to Nora and I'm just borrowing them!

David Wymack did not get paid enough for this. He got paid to coach a Class I Exy team. He got paid not make sure Andrew didn’t actually murder anyone. He got paid to get his kids to the court and whip their asses into shape. He probably didn’t get paid enough to deal with traumatized, violent teenagers on a daily basis but he walked right into that one on his own and refused to regret it.

He did _not_ get paid to come to his office only to have the door blocked by a vaguely human shaped bleeding mess.

God, Wymack hoped this wasn’t one of his Foxes. He wasn’t sure he could stomach it if that was one of his player’s unmoving forms. This would be hard enough if this was just a nameless body and a convenient dump sight. That would be tragic - sure - anything involving dead bodies often was, but it wouldn’t gut him. It wouldn’t hurt like seeing one of his Foxes’ corpse left out to rot. Wymack had been waiting all summer for Raven retaliation since Kevin had announced his decision to sign with Palmetto State.

He hoped this wasn’t their choice of communication.

Slowly approaching the kid Wymack’s heart nearly stopped once he saw the slight rise and fall of the boy’s chest and quickly whipped out his phone only to freeze once he got closer. This wasn’t something that should be handled by the police, not yet. This was Edgar Allen’s doing, no question. The less police involvement the more likely less bodies would show up.

He switched his dial from 911 to his number one speed dial, his eyes never leaving the boy’s face. The number three had been viciously carved into the boy’s cheek and it stared at Wymack like an accusation.

What trouble could taking on one more traumatized Raven cause, anyways? That assumed Nathaniel Wesninski made it past sunrise. 

\--

It was common knowledge in the Foxes’ circle that Kevin Day slept like the dead. That did not mean that Andrew and Nicky did which made for a very unpleasant morning for everyone involved when Kevin’s phone starts ringing non stop around 5:30 in the fucking AM. The chaos doesn’t end until everyone is sporting fresh bruises and there’s a shoe stuck on the ceiling fan. (Thank you so much for that, Andrew. What would we do without you?)

“Coach?” Kevin answers, still partially in a sleep daze but at the sound of his father’s voice he instantly pales.

“No. No. No,” is all Kevin seems capable of saying to Andrew takes the phone.

“Explain why you just sent my charge into cardiac arrest?” he asks, sounding for all the world like he doesn’t give a damn.

“Just get his ass over to the stadium and I will buy you as much alcohol as you can drink in one sitting. Bring Renee and Boyd along. I don’t want to hear it Andrew. Do whatever you have to short of permanently maiming them for the rest of the season,” Coach snapped before hanging up.

“Kevin, the fuck was that about?” Andrew assumed it was technically a question but both of them knew better.

“Nathaniel Wesninski,” Kevin said, like that explained everything and in a way it did. It wasn’t exactly common knowledge but anyone obsessed with the Ravens knew that name. Rumored starting backliner for Riko’s perfect court. Tabloids were running with the story of this mystery player, printing pictures of a no-name kid with an easily photoshopped #3 on his cheek. Andrew wouldn’t have believed the rumors except for the way Kevin went ashen when he saw the articles published and the guilt clearly eating away at his face as he looked at those blurry photos for minutes on end.

“We’re going. Do whatever coach told you to do, we need to fucking go.”

“Give me a reason, Day, or I’m not going anywhere.”

“He might die. He’s probably going to die.”

“Next,” Andrew said, cleaning his fingernails disinterestedly with one of his knives.

“Jesus, Andrew-” Nicky starts only to have Kevin cut him off.

“Because he’s family,” Kevin says abruptly. Andrew flicks his eyebrows up but continues to stare uncaring as he moves to grab his keys.

“We need Renee and Boyd. Nicky, take care of it.”

Nicky's eyes widen. Renee was by no means a leash for Andrew but she was the closest thing they had. Coach must be truly desperate. How Boyd factored in, Nicky isn't sure but he doesn't want to ask. Instead he just sprints to their room down the hall.

Matt is already up and waiting for him once Nicky began knocking. Coach obviously didn't expect Andrew to pass along the message.

"Renee is meeting me at my truck. Is your monster up and moving or do I need to go kick his ass?" Matt asks, pulling shorts on and grabbing his car keys.

"Up and moving," Nicky says, smartly moving out of Matt's way.

"Good!" Matt calls, already making his way to the stairs. "Gather the team! Meeting at the court at 10!"

Nicky groaned. This meant he had to wake Aaron up. Today must be a day for poking sleeping bears.

\--

Abby had too much blood on her hands. None of it belonged to her Foxes but that didn't make it hurt less. This was a boy, probably not even 18 yet, carved up like a piece of meat and left to bleed out on their front door.

David was right next to her, helping stitch up these new wounds on top of old scars. Luckily the poor kid stayed unconscious through it all. They were still in the middle of it when Kevin and Andrew arrived at the court. If Abby hadn't heard them come in then she definitely would've noticed when Kevin made an almost inhuman squeal at the sight of the boy spread out in front of them.

"My office," David ordered, barely looking up towards the boys. "And Andrew don't let him drown in vodka yet I need him sober!"

“David,” Abby said, voice cracking. Abby knew she couldn’t do enough. They had a well stocked first aid kit but there was too much unaccounted for. There could be internal bleeding. At least one of Nathaniel’s ribs was cracked, if not broken. It was a different monster entirely when it came to Nathaniel’s mangled foot.

Riko was a monster of a different bleed if he could do this to one of his own.

“Just do what you can,” David said as gently as he knew how.

They were lucky. As lucky as they could be considered in this situation. As far as Abby could tell without an x-ray it was only an Avulsion fracture, not a Jones which meant no surgery and a high recovery rate. Abby couldn’t be 100% sure but she was at least confident as David helped her realign the bone and then wrap and elevate the foot.

Once Abby knew that she could handle this on her own she sent David back to Kevin. It was bad enough last winter to have Kevin showing up out of the blue with a broken hand and a desperate look in his eyes. Abby didn’t know exactly how painful it would be when Nathaniel woke up but if he was anything like Kevin it would hurt like hell.

It didn't even cross her mind that Nathaniel was a Raven. He had been left on the doorstep of her home mangled and left to die. He was a Fox now and Abby would not give him up without a fight. None of them would.

\--

"Why the fuck do I have an unconscious Raven in our medical room?" Coach demanded, looking at Kevin. Kevin just shook his head wordlessly. His face was buried in his hands as he sat bonelessly in one of the chairs.  

"He shouldn't be here," Kevin says and Wymack sighs. No fucking duh the kid wasn't supposed to be here.

"But here he is. Interesting that," Andrew said.

"Seriously Day, who even is this kid?"

"His name is Nathaniel Wesninski and Riko's number three, backliner. He’s been marked for perfect court for almost as long as he’s been with the Ravens."

"He's been marked alright," Wymack said, feeling sick. He couldn't get the sight of Riko's new branding techniques out of his head. He could just pray that Nathaniel was unconscious when it had happened but somehow he doubted it.

"The kid has - had - fuck I don't know - talent. He could outplay me and Riko on our best day," Kevin said. Wymack didn't miss the fear in Kevin's voice. He knew better than anyone what happened when you bested Riko Moriyama at his own game. "He was slated for starting line up this upcoming fall. I can only guess Nathaniel went too far this time. God knows he did it enough when we were kids..."

Kevin fell into silence and Wymack didn't try to get him talking again. Instead he just poured out a glass of vodka for the Striker as Matt and Renee walked in as Andrew walked out. He needed Kevin to be much less sober to bring up Nathaniel’s broken foot so as not to send Kevin spiraling into blind panic.

Matt and Renee looked to coach to the glass of vodka to the blood staining their coach sent dread settling in their stomachs.

"What's up coach?" Matt asked a little warily. Getting a morning call to get to the court ASAP to find your coach covered in what Matt hoped was somebody else's blood was unusual even for Foxes.

"We apparently seem to have a nesting problem because we've got another Raven."

"You're shitting me, right?" Matt asked, mouth gaping. Coach's defeated sigh was enough of an answer.

"This one was hand delivered all carved up like a Christmas turkey," Wymack said bitterly. Renee and Matt looked at each other and then back at coach like somehow that would make any if this easier to swallow.

"Matt, I want you to be there when he wakes up. Like fuck I'm going to let that kid wake up to one of the monsters. Renee, you're here incase Andrew tries to kill him. Not that there's much you can do but at least you might be able to perform last rights or something."  

Renee smiled one of her sweetest, most gentle smiles but was kept from answering by Abby's appearance.

If Wymack looked bloody it was nothing compared to the team nurse. She had wiped her hands down has best she could without nearly scrubbing her skin off but dark red still clung to it with a viciousness.

“I think he’ll be okay. We won’t know until he wakes up if he’ll need a hospital but…” She sent a searching look at Coach and then sat at Kevin’s side.

“Boyd, go get Andrew and keep the kid company. Renee, I want you to check in with the other upperclassmen. Don’t give them specifics yet but tell them to get their asses down to this court as soon as they can,” Wymack said as he poured Kevin another glass. The striker downed it just as quickly as he had the first one, guilt eating away at his face.

Matt nodded quickly, making his way to where Nathaniel was currently hidden. Renee didn’t get up until Andrew entered the room. She gently brushed her shoulder against Andrew as she went to go make her calls.

“One more glass and then we’re talking again. Okay, Day?” Wymack asked, holding the bottle hostage until he saw Kevin nod. That sat in silence for a few minutes until Wymack braced himself and finally opened his mouth.

“His foot is broken,” Wymack said, looking directly at Kevin. He didn’t flinch as the crushing pain and fear that entered those green eyes but it was a near thing.  

“He’s a message,” Kevin choked out. “They’re trying to get me back. They’re trying to take me- I can’t-”

“Look at me,” Wymack demanded. “Look at me, god damn you, and breathe.”

Kevin set his wild eyes on Andrew. “I told you they would come get me! I told you!” Andrew just glared, mentally backing Kevin into a corner where he would have no choice but to listen. Andrew was a crazy, ruthless little shit but he was a crazy, ruthless little shit with a promise to keep to Kevin Day. He was the last person who should be a calming presence for anyone but here they were.

“It doesn’t matter. You signed a contract with me,” Wymack said, trying to force Kevin’s attention back on him. “It doesn’t matter how much money the Moriyamas shove my way. We both know it means nothing if you don’t sign on the dotted line.”

“I can’t tell Riko no!” Kevin said only to have Andrew cut in.

“Then you will say nothing,” he snarls. “You are not going anywhere Day. Do you think I cannot keep my promise?” Andrew’s eyes are cold even as he’s flying as high as a kite. In a different world it would chill Wymack to his bone, now it just makes him press his lips together and nod.

“Good. You let me and Andrew worry about Riko fuckface. You worry about the game. We all just have to do what we know how to do and we will be fine.”

The way Wymack said it almost made Kevin believe things might be okay in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! I'm going to try and do weekly updates and I've already got most of the next chapter done :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! All characters belong to Nora, I'm just borrowing them.

Nathaniel Wesninski had nine years of waking up in the Nest to be able to recognize within seconds that he was no longer there. That alone was enough to send panic thrumming through his chest. That and the blinding pain his his foot.

 

Nathaniel wasn’t a stranger to pain but this was different. This was pain and panic and the memory of bones crushing under the force of a racket and waking up somewhere that had sunlight and the lack of Jean’s breathing across the room. Logically Nathaniel knew that he needed to breathe. He needed to assess his situation, sort out his injuries, and hope he could make it back to the Nest before the master noticed. That didn’t stop Nathaniel from feeling like his entire world was collapsing and crush the inside of his chest. 

 

“Breathe. Please, Nathaniel. I need you to breathe. It’s okay. It’s 6:21 on March 31st, you are at Palmetto State University. You are safe,” Nathaniel heard a voice say but that only pushed him further toward the edge of no return. Palmetto State. Kevin Day. Riko. The Master would never forgive him for this. 

 

Eventually due to more out of necessity than any real sense of calm Nathaniel felt himself begin to breathe again. He needed to focus. Reign in his senses and assess the situation before he lost control again. Nathaniel was smart enough to know that it would happen again. If he wasn’t dead first.

 

The first thing he registered was the window letting in near blinding sunlight but the next was a the owner of the voice still trying to talk to Nathaniel. He tried putting a name to the face of the man in front of him.  He was easily almost six foot tall, decently tan with spiked up brown hair. He was well built, nothing but pure muscle on his frame. Nathaniel ran through the Foxes' lineup in his head and finally found what he was looking for. 

 

Matthew Boyd, current backliner sub being moved to starter next year. Probably one of their members with the most potential if he got out on a decent team. He wasn't at the level of USC or Penn State and certainly not the Ravens but any other Class I team would be lucky to have him. Nathaniel ran stats through his head, trying to remember every weakness Riko had drilled into his head. 

 

After Kevin took up the assistant coaching position at Palmetto their nightly sessions together almost always included a rant about the disgraceful team. It was easier for Nathaniel to listen to the words than focus on the pain. It had only gotten worse after he had signed. 

 

"Nathaniel?" Matt asked, his voice colored with something Nathaniel might think was worry if he didn't know better.  

 

"Where am I?" he asks. The words come out rough, slurred with pain. It's not an unusual way for Nathaniel to sound in the morning. 

 

"You're at the Foxhole Court... In Palmetto. What do you remember?"

 

Thinking back to last night almost sends Nathaniel spiraling again but somehow he manages to hold his ground. Briefly he registers that he's shutting down. It's a familiar enough feeling. Stop thinking and you stop hurting. It's better than the blind panic but hurts like a motherfucker when Nathaniel forces himself back to reality but right now it's worth it. 

 

"I got too lost in the game and blocked Riko out too many times at practice. He was pissed. Should've known better the first time he fractured my foot. This soon after Kevin, well, I'm not surprised," Nathaniel says. His voice sounds dead even to his own ears but it doesn't matter. Not right now.  "You said I was in Palmetto?"

 

Matt nodded silently, a look of horror etched into his face. 

 

"Makes sense. Once Riko knew I wouldn't be ready to start come fall season I was useless. Better use me to send a message to Kevin. I'm probably not supposed to be alive." 

 

Matt keeps staring at Nathaniel like this is the most horrible thing he's ever heard but Nathaniel can't bring himself to care. He's supposed to be dead. It's not such an unfamiliar feeling. Last time this happened he was nine and was shortly after sold to the Ravens. Being owned by the Foxes couldn’t be any worse than being Riko Moriyama’s pet.

 

“I’m going to get out team nurse. Her name is Abby. Okay? She needs to look you over and the rest of her doctor stuff, okay? I’ll be right back,” Matt said. He waited for Nathaniel to nod before baking out of the room to catch his breath while Nathaniel held his. 

 

It was a strange sensation, and not a wholly welcome one, being left alone. Nathaniel didn’t remember the last time he had a moment to himself. Jean was always in his line of sight. They were punished if they weren’t. Nathaniel’s failures were Jean’s failures and vice versa. They were two wholes split in half and forced together. 

 

The last time Nathaniel was alone his mother was dead and he was nine years old. Half a life away. It wa a paralyzing thing to be left alone with nothing but the sound of his own heart beat.

 

The sound of a door opening gets Nathaniel out of his head and for a moment he’s expecting Jean to come in, cursing him out in French for pissing Riko off this much. But it’s not Jean. It’s a woman about 30 years old with brown hair and blood stained hands. 

 

_ My blood,  _ Nathaniel registers and it’s not as strange a sensation as he sometimes wishes it was. 

 

“Nathaniel?” the woman asks. Abby, Matt said. Nathaniel nods. “I told Matt to wait outside since you might not want him hearing all of this but you can invite him back in if you want.” 

 

Nathaniel just shakes his head and tries to keep himself present as him and Abby looks him over. She’s gentler than Jean ever was. It was a foreign thing Nathaniel wasn’t quite sure what to do with as well as the painkiller she handed him to swallow with a glass of cold water. Painkillers were things that were slipped between partners under the table. A precious commodity often paid for in blood. That something should be handed to Nathaniel for no obvious price was unsettling.

 

Maybe being the Foxes’ pet would be a much better thing than belonging to the Ravens.

 

\--

 

Abby’s heart broke a little bit more as Matt walked out of Nathaniel’s room looking like he’s seen a ghost. His hands were shaking and his face had gone a deathly kind of pale. 

 

“He’s awake,” Matt said, his voice a little hollow. “This isn’t the first time this has happened to him. Riko broke his fucking foot for outplaying him. He said he’s probably supposed to be dead, Christ. Abby, what the fuck is wrong with those goddamn bird brains up at Edgar Allen?”

 

She rested a gentle hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Dan, James, and Raphael are already here. Why don’t you go check in with them while I take care of Nathaniel?”

 

“I told him I’d come back.”

 

“I’ll come get you if he needs you. Okay? Matt, go to your team,” Abby said with as much force as she could muster before turning towards the door. Inside was a scared, broken kid  who needed her help. Whatever emotions were happening inside of Abby right now didn’t trump the fact that Nathaniel needed her now.

 

He started when the door opened and Abby tried to smile. It was hard, knowing what was underneath all those bandages. 

 

"Nathaniel?" she asks and he nods, his face blank and his eyes dead. “I told Matt to wait outside since you might not want him hearing all of this but you can invite him back in if you want.” 

 

Put him in control. Ask simple questions with yes or no answers. Don't crowd his brain and push him into a panic. It was all advice Betsy had given her over the years on how to deal with recently traumatized children and Nathaniel certainly counted as traumatized. 

 

Nathaniel shook his head 'no' and let Abby begin checking him over more thoroughly without complaint. He took the higher grade painkillers docilely as well, though with a look in his face that screamed distrust. 

 

He answered all get questions easily, though Abby doubted truthfully, when asked to rate his pain. He couldn't hide his flinch as Abby approached his foot, his blank look giving way to blind panic in a second. 

 

"I just need you to rate the pain for me. The bone broken through the skin so there's a high risk in infection. I want to take you to the clinic I work at the take an x-ray to make sure there's no damage to the tendons and get a better look at the break. 

 

"As long as you take it easy and heal you'll be fine."

 

"I'll be back running drills in three weeks," Nathaniel said, obviously fighting to keep his calm demeanor. Abby's blood ran cold as she remembered what Matt said. /This isn't the first time this had happened./ 

 

"No," she says quickly. "No. You need at least six to eight weeks to heal, Nathaniel. You'll be fine but only if you take the time to heal."

 

"I can still be in the gym. I can still practice my aim. I'll be behind in footwork but I can do this," he says, some of that blank calm giving way to panicky determination. 

 

Abby wanted to cry. 

 

"Six to eight weeks to heal," she insisted. "Healing first and then footwork. I don't- I don't know how things worked at Edgar Allen but this is how things work here."

 

Nathaniel's face went blank again and Abby took a deep breath. 

 

"In going to give you some sleeping pills to give your body more rest and when you wake again I can take you down to the clinic. Okay?"

 

Again Nathaniel nodded without any real expression. Abby handed over the pills and he dry swallowed them before she had the chance to give him more water. She waited for him to fall asleep before leaving with one last glance back at the boy who was already asleep. 

 

\--

 

Dan Wilds thought she was a pretty resilient little sucker. She wouldn’t have survived the Foxes for this long if she wasn’t. Still, Dan had to question their ability to make it this upcoming year. The death threats, vandalism, and general horribleness she could handle pretty well. She was the first female captain of a Class I Exy team, of course she could handle it.

 

Half-dead bodies being dropped off in front of their court doors? Yeah, that was a little intense. Coach really needed to have a heart to heart with campus security and get their asses in gear. Yes, they took in stay sob stories. Their team was more a halfway house than anything else. That did not mean they wanted to recruit via butchered bodies showing up on their doorstep.

 

Motherfucking Ravens. 

 

She’s listens to coach explain what happened this morning with the James and Raphael at her back. She wishes she had Matt here too but he was currently keeping their new Raven company. She could feel their stunned looks over her head, their rage almost palpable. Raphael is running through a series of Italian curses under their breath.

 

"We're still not sure of the full story yet," Wymack says and Dan can’t think of anything to say besides maybe joining Raph in some cursing. No one else can either, it seems, so the room stays silent until Matt walks in.

 

"He's awake," Matt said, his usually cheerful face pale. His hands were clenched inside of his pockets and Dan had a sinking feeling that they were shaking. "He's in pretty shit shape but apparently not as bad as it could've been given that he's pretty sure they meant to kill him. So yeah, I mean, there's that."

 

"Christ," Wymack sighed. "Well, Abby's taking care of him now.” The underlying  _ he’s not dead yet, not if we have anything to say about it  _ is unsaid but they all heart it. “How soon should the others get here?" he asked Renee. 

 

"I convinced Allison to let Nicky and Aaron ride with her and Seth so if they all survive that car ride they should be here in about five minutes." Coach nodded before standing up and making his way to his office and herding a defeated looking Kevin Day and uncaring Andrew into the lounge where they took up residence on one of the couches.

 

The group stayed silent while waiting for the others to show up. That silence was soon broken by the slamming of a door as a pissed off looking Seth followed by an equally upset looking Allison. Before coach could ask Aaron and Nicky stalking into the room as well and went straight for their couch. Doing a headcount, Wymack nodded when he saw all his players in the room.

 

“Okay. Everyone shut up and listen. When I came to the court to do coaching paperwork shit this morning I was greeted by a half dead body of a Raven. Only half dead. Abby’s currently keeping him alive.”

 

“Why are we keeping a Raven alive?” Seth interrupted, leveling a stare at Wymack.

 

“He’s a message,” Kevin spoke up. “For me.”

 

“Then why don’t we just send him back?” Seth demanded only to have James glare at him.

 

“Did you not hear the half dead part?” James growled with Raph backing him up.

 

“No, I’m just trying to figure out why we care,” Seth shot back.

 

“Because once his foot heals and he no longer bleeds everytime he moves he’ll be our ticket to finals,” Kevin said, but his normal heat wasn’t behind it.

 

“And, you know, a vested interest in not sending a kid back to his death,” Raph said.

 

“We don’t know what will happen long term but he’ll be staying with me for now. I’ve already called campus security and they’re reviewing the footage of last night to see if they can find anything. If Nathaniel wants to get the police involved we will, but for now we need to keep this quiet and for god's sake stay inside of your dorm room. Yes, Seth, I am talking to you!”

 

He sent a glare towards the cousins and Kevin as well before waving them off.

 

“Practice is canceled for today, but meet back at the gym at 6:00 tomorrow morning and for fuck’s sake none of you get killed please.”

 

Dan sighed, grabbing ahold of Matt’s hand if just to know that no matter what they would make it through. They always would.

 

\--

 

The next few days were a whirlwind of confusion and pain. The pain Nathaniel could handle, it was the team nuse he wasn’t so sure of. It feels wrong to be off his feet. It shouldn’t matter that he’s broken and bleeding and feels like he can’t move without passing out. If he were at Evermore he would still be on the court or Riko would just make it worse. There was no bed rest for the Ravens and no matter what Abby tries to tell him Nathaniel is _a_ _Raven_. 

 

He was bought and sold. It has been carved into his face. He can’t bring himself to look into the mirror but he remembers Riko cutting into his face after he took everything else. Riko stole his ability to be anything except a Raven reject for the rest of his life. 

 

The first 24 hours are mostly sleep and pain and not quite feeling anything because of the drugs. Abby rarely leaves him alone for long for which Nathaniel is grateful. He doesn’t know how to breathe on his own, but Nathaniel knows he will manage. He always does. 

 

The second morning Nathaniel wakes up from his drug induced haze and he cannot breathe. He is alone and the pain is all there is and he is alone so there must be more pain coming. He tries to move and he barely manages to choke down a scream. 

 

He's trying to remember how to wrestle back control from his own frenzied mind.as he rolls off the bed and then under it. He holds onto the lessons that Jean has taught him to hold his panic at bay. (There’s another brief spike of panic because  _ Jean isn’t here where is he? _ ) Nathaniel lets the small, dark space drag him into his memories and for a moment he is locked in the trunk of a car and it’s spinning and spinning and spinning out of control.  

 

_ Make yourself scared and then rescue yourself. _

 

He holds out until the pain of it is crushing him before rolling out from under the bed. Abby is standing at the door watching him pant and Nathaniel hates letting her see him this vulnerable. Jean is the only one who should ever see him this broken. Is the only one Nathaniel can trust not to use this against him.

 

“Are you okay?” she asks even though she already knows the answer.

 

“I’m fine,” Nathaniel says because he always is. 

 

“Let me help you up,” she says and moves forwards only to stop short as Nathaniel’s flinch. 

 

“I’m fine,” he says again and this time Abby nods. 

 

“Can I atleast help you elevate your foot before I go make breakfast? The more we keep it elevated the sooner we can have you on crutches. Okay?”

 

Nathaniel thinks back to when he was 13 and Jean had just joined them. He had felt invincible until he wasn’t anymore. Those next three weeks had broken Jean as much as they had broken Nathaniel. He thinks back to Jean’s anger, his french curses and rough edges. Abby is nothing like Jean and Nathaniel aches for the closest thing he has ever had to a friend. 

 

Once he realizes Abby won’t approach until he says ‘yes’ Nathaniel nods. He needs to get back on his feet as soon as possible. Needs to prove to the Foxes that he can be a good investment.

 

“Please don’t try to move again. I’ll bring breakfast once it’s done,” she says as she gently maneuvers his foot. There’s that tone of voice again. It’s not pity and it’s not anger and it’s nothing Nathaniel knows how to understand. He nods as she stands, passing him another pillow to lean his back against instead of the unforgiving wall. 

 

Nathaniel lets himself sit in the quiet and remembers how to breathe. He weighs the pros and cons, like he always does. Find your options and make a choice. Fight or flight. Give up or keep going. Take a knife to your skin or take your feet to the court. You give into the apathy or you bite back.

 

Nathaniel has always, always bitten back. It’s all he knows how to do.

 

Riko takes a knife to your skin and you spit in his face. Be good enough that he can’t kill you. Bend just enough that he can’t break you. Be pliable. Adapt. Fight back. Keep going. Bite down and don’t let go. 

 

Nathaniel curls his scarred hands into fists to stop the shaking. Your hands can shake but never let them see. Bend but never break.

 

When Abby comes back with a plate of scrambled eggs and toast Nathaniel smiles. He remembers how to sell himself. To bend himself to someone else's will until he has the chance to strike. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: lots of angst and heavy referencing to suicidal tendencies and past rape/non-con. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! It keeps me writing and never fails to make me smile. As always, these characters belong to Nora, I'm just borrowing them.

The third day Abby takes him with her to the clinic to restock her supplies. She obviously learned some lessons when Kevin transferred to Palmetto if not from the rather spectacular panic attack Nathaniel had when she went to the grocery store. Apparently the Ravens really fucked Nathaniel up, not that he couldn’t have told you that himself.

Nathaniel somehow makes getting into the car less of an ordeal than it feels like it should be. The last time he was in a car he was locked in the trunk. It was a rather unpleasant experience that Nathaniel had no desire to repeat.

Luckily they were going to the clinic before it was officially open. If Nathaniel was having trouble keeping it together just getting into a car he really didn’t want to think about trying to function in public for the first time in pretty much ever while being three wrong steps from internal injury. Nathaniel remembers his PR training. He remembers the master’s number one rule.

Never, _ever_ appear weak to the public.

He tries to distract himself, itching at the bandage on his cheek as they drive down the street. He remembers being marked permanently, Jean by his side. Jean was angry and Nathaniel was doing everything he could to hold on tight. It was a month after Jean arrived at the Nest, three weeks since Riko broke Nathaniel’s foot while trying to break Jean’s spirit. Jean was still more anger than anything else but Nathaniel could already see him becoming more pliable. It’s Nathaniel’s job to help Jean hold onto that anger. To hold onto anything at all.

They made a deal that day. Number three and number four. The property of the best in the nation marked for everyone to know who they belonged to. They would get out on graduation day and go pro together, if they didn’t, they’d go to the grave together. Either way their days of being Moriyama property would be over they day they wore black for the last time. They would have a future together or none at all.

And now here Nathaniel was, two states away and god knows what happening to Jean in his absence. Suddenly the world is dropping out from under Nathaniel and he can’t breathe. Briefly he hears Abby talking but her words are nothing but a senseless buzzing in his ears. He tries to choke out “I’m fine” because the last time he had a panic attack on the court Riko broke one of his fingers. Jean should be at his back, a gloved hand on Nathaniel’s arm to keep him grounded, shoving him back on his feet before anyone notices but Jean is not here because _Jean thinks he is dead._

Is Jean even still breathing? Riko wouldn’t have killed him but did Jean take the final step without him? Nathaniel can barely handle breathing four hours away from Jean, how could he survive in a world without Jean at all?

There is a hand on Nathaniel and that hand doesn’t belong to Jean so Nathaniel does the only thing he knows how to do. He bites back. He twists away and ignores the way someone cries out and scrambles for an exit. The last time he was in a car his mother was dead and he was being locked in a cage made of all black.

Someone is calling his name but that voice isn’t Jean and Nathaniel can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. He can’t think. The only thing he can feel is his entire body throbbing with pain but it isn’t enough. Jean would kill Nathaniel for doing this to himself, for losing time and letting himself fall into panic and fear and not having enough control to dig himself back out.

And then there are more hands on him that don’t belong to Jean and Nathaniel knows exactly what’s happening. He makes himself go pliant under their hands because it will always be worse if he doesn’t. He’ll fight back eventually. They’ll get even more angry is he doesn’t. But right now he knows it’s best to submit.

Nathaniel thinks he can hear someone crying and he knows that it’s not him because if he was crying then someone would’ve kissed - _bruised lips, bruised hips, pain everywhere_ \- him just to shut him up by now. But that doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense anymore.

\--

David gets a phone call from Abby at 6 o’clock in the morning and he already knows it’s about Nathaniel. Wymack was wary about leaving the kid alone with Abby. Not because he thought the kid would try anything, Nathaniel could hardly move unassisted, but because Nathaniel was in for one hell of an adjustment period.

Abby couldn’t handle that alone, she shouldn’t even try. So when David made her promise to call if she needed help he knew it wasn’t so much a matter of if but when.

So no, Wymack isn't shocked to get a call from Abby. To learn Nathaniel's attempting to tear himself to shreds in the midst of a panic attack isn't surprising news either. Highly worrying, yes. Surprising, unfortunately not. Kevin had been pretty tight lipped about the Ravens and their nest but it didn't take a genius to figure out what a toxic environment it was and the hell that could wreck on a kid's psyche.

Luckily, by the time David finds Abby's car on a stretch of back road she mostly has the situation under control but it spoke volumes that she relinquished temporary guardianship to Wymack.

"He didn't break any stitches, thank God... but Jesus, David," Abby says, looking over at Nathaniel's unmoving body in her backseat.

So David did what he did best and carried Nathaniel to his car before pressing a soft kiss to Abby's forehead.

"Don't worry, I've got him."

He lit a cigarette on the drive home. Nathaniel was either unconscious or doing a very good job of pretending to be. David was sure it was caused by a mixture of exhaustion, over exertion, and the general inability to take care of oneself.

It isn’t a long drive and Wymack easily carries the kid to his apartment. Nathaniel was disturbingly light for a backliner, or any Exy player for that matter, and it just fuels Wymack’s anger. There's nothing to do but wait for the kid to wake up and hope he doesn’t try and jump out the window in a panic so David leaves Nathaniel on the couch and then goes to his office, being sure to keep an ear out for when the kid wakes up.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed by before David hears a voice.

“Jean Moreau,” Nathaniel says, his voice scratchy. Somehow the kid had gotten himself up on his crutches and limped over to Wymack’s doorway with David hearing. “I need to know if he’s alive.”

“Haven’t heard that he’s dead. Now sit down before you hurt your foot even more and Abby has my head.”

“Haven’t heard isn’t good enough,” Neil said, voice thick with pain and a fierce loyalty. “I don’t give two shits what you do to me, just let me know if he’s alive.” There's a pause and Nathaniel opens his mouth but whatever words he was planning on saying never make it past his throat.

"Sit the fuck down. You're not going to loom in my doorway while I figure this shit out."

Nathaniel searches out an empty chair in the office and sits. He doesn't look happy about it but Wymack considered the small victory. This kid is going to be a headache, he thinks as he reaches for his phone and hands it over.

\--

Nathaniel held the phone, well aware of Wymack's eyes on him as he dials. He only looks down at the keypad because there's nowhere else to look. Jean's number is seared into his brain just like every Ravens statistic has been drilled into his head.

It felt like the ringing went on forever as Nathaniel waited. And waited.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello?" a voice on the other end of the line says in heavily accented English. If Nathaniel wasn't sitting down he was sure his legs would've dropped out from under him at the sound of Jean's voice. Nathaniel let himself take a shuttering breath before speaking up.

"Hi! Are you from Baltimore? If so just press three to receive a year's worth of freshly butchered meats cutesy of Mary's Butchery!" Nathaniel says, pitching his voice as high as it can go. Riko could always be listening on the other end. This was as obvious as Nathaniel dared to be.

" _Fils de pute,_ Nathaniel?" Jean says, voice half disbelief, half anger. Nathaniel knew Jean wouldn't dare say his name is Riko or one of his faithfuls was near.

"Yeah, it's me. Neither of us have time. Remember our deal," Nathaniel responds in their familiar language of French. He’ll have to explain this conversation to Wymack later but for now Nathaniel wants keep this for himself. Even in the Nest, French was always something Riko couldn’t take away from them.

"I have no choice," Jean says because for now it is true.

"By the end of this year you will. The king is only as strong as his players and he's given two of his strongest away," Nathaniel says, putting as much force behind his words as he can. "Do what you do best, survive this. I will take care of the rest."

Nathaniel is not Riko; cold and joyful in the face of pain. He is not Jean; surviving but not fighting. Nathaniel is steady hands and a blood smeared smile and promises.

"I'm sorry, my friend," he says softly. Neither of them will escape this unscathed.

"I am as well. Goodbye, Nathaniel," Jean says and the line goes dead. Nathaniel let's Wymack's phone drop from his hand as wave after wave of emotion crashes into him. Jean is alive which is all Nathaniel can ask for right now. It feels like he can breathe again.

Wymack is looking at him with a curious, gruff expression that Nathaniel can’t even begin to decipher when he says, “Will you sign me?”

Wymack’s eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline as he stares at Nathaniel. Nathaniel stares back, tired but steady. The coach works his jaw as he tries to think of a response. Nathaniel doesn’t back down. He can’t afford to. He’s under no illusion about what he is; Nathaniel is a product to be bought and paid for. He would sell himself, whatever that required and make himself valuable enough for Wymack to want to keep.

“Of course. This is what we’re about. Second chances,” Wymack says but Nathaniel doesn’t let himself relax. Nothing is ever that simple. “Kevin says you’re a backliner.”

“I’m whatever you need me to be. I’m off this foot for at least three weeks but I’ll be ready by the time summer practices start. That’ll give me enough time to learn whatever you need me to learn.” Nathaniel doesn’t let himself think about what Wymack might ask for. He purposely doesn’t think about the fact that Wymack is the same age as Nathan and even though Nathaniel hasn’t seen his father for nine years he remembers. He doesn’t think about the way Riko made him pay with his body and his screams.

“Lets just wait and see once you get back on your feet,” Wymack says with a shrug. Nathaniel doesn’t want to wait that long for Wymack’s judgment but he will not push, not until he knows his new boundaries.

\--

David looks over the boy, his tense shoulders and they way he held himself, ready to run but forcing himself to stay. His blue eyes were old, tired, but fierce.

“ _I don’t give two shits what you do to me,_ ” Nathaniel had said and Wymack could tell he meant it. Those were words spoken with a sort of loyalty that could only be bought through blood and Wymack tried not to think of the way Kevin would go scrambling back to Riko with one word.

He noticed the way Neil offered him everything ( _I’m whatever you need me to be._ ) and felt sick but was careful not to let it show. Nathaniel was a Fox alright and everything that came with it.

“Go back to the couch and get some sleep. I’ll warn you when Abby is on the way to pick you up if staying with her is still an option. If not the couch is open.”

There’s the deer-in-the-headlights look again. A choice offered. Wymack could see the way Nathaniel looked at it like a trap.

“Abby’s is good. She’ll probably be the best to help me get back on my feet the fastest,” Nathaniel says, hobbling out of the room on Wymack’s orders. David sighs. _Yeah,_ he thinks, _this kid is a fox._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! Welcome to your weekly update. I tried to lighten up on some of the angst but this is Nathaniel's life so that didn't work out too well. I was writing up until this morning and am still not really happy with how the chapter ends but oh well. After this chapter I'm probably going to do a time skip to get Nathaniel back on the court and then I'll start following the canon story line. 
> 
> As always I live for your comments and kudos! All characters belong to Nora, I'm just borrowing them.

The first thing Nathaniel has to get used to living at Abby’s is the way the sun shines through the window in the morning. He’s tempted to tape a blanket against the window to keep out the offending light but this is his life now. It is adapt or die, sink or swim, so Nathaniel makes it work. He thinks of what Riko called exposure therapy and wants to laugh.

 

When Nathaniel flinches at the light in the mornings Abby doesn't ask. 

 

The second thing is falling asleep without Jean's breathing. Nathaniel tries to content himself by remembering that Jean is alive and he will not die any time soon. Jean promised him a year and Nathaniel clings to it. He tries not to think of the things Riko will do to him. Tries not to think about who is patching Jean up now that Nathaniel is gone. Most nights he doesn't succeed and dream's of screams. 

 

The third thing is the food. Abby pushes food onto him constantly, trying to help him gain back the weight he's lost since Kevin left and Riko grew even more vicious. It's hard to keep it all down. It's hard to find a balance between following the diet-plan that has been beat into him and trying to appease Abby. Retching up half digested meals with broken ribs is unpleasant but his stomach is slowly adjusting to this new schedule. 

 

The most startling thing is learning to function on a twenty four hour schedule rather than a sixteen one. Since Nathaniel wasn't an Edgar Allen student he hasn't functioned on normal day schedules since he was first sold to Tetsuji. He tried to ignore the way Abby looked at him worriedly as he continued to fall asleep practically standing up. 

 

"Nathaniel, are you not sleeping?" she asks after a few days of this while checking his stitches. 

 

"I am," he says, gritting his teeth. He doesn't know how to explain this without giving too much away. "Just adjusting. I... I functioned on a different schedule back at Edgar Allen. I'm fine." Abby raised her eyebrows at Nathaniel but didn't push. Abby was good about that, not pushing. Nathaniel was glad. He isn't healed enough to try and hold his ground yet. 

 

Over the days a schedule emerges and Nathaniel tries not to relish the stability of knowing what he's supposed to do. Abby is up early to go to team practices so Nathaniel woke up to join her. He didn't lift weights in the gym with the others despite how his fingers itched and muscles ached. Instead he hid in Abby's office and keeps working on his GED. After the Foxes have gone to class, Nathaniel goes back to Abby's house where she forces him into bed rest while she works around the house. Afterwards they go to the Foxhole Court.

 

The bright orange feels wrong. It's jarring but that doesn't change the fact that an Exy court is an Exy court. The first day Abby deemed him well enough to come sit in on practice they showed up almost an hour early. Nathaniel didn't ask why. He assumed Abby had work to do. That didn't change the fact that he took the time to relish the feeling of being on the court again.

 

It felt like coming home even as memories itched at the back of his mind. It didn't matter how many times Riko scarred his skin, how often the other Ravens would kick him down, how much of his blood was spilled on court ground. This would always be home.

 

Sometimes Nathaniel would watch the team play but he's careful to retreat back to Abby's medical room before the Foxes return from the locker room. Today is one of those days. He watches Kevin move on the court and aches. His hand may be broken but Kevin moves with the same fierce determination that he's had. It kindles something in Nathaniel's chest that feels too much like safety. As practice wraps up Nathaniel slips away.

 

Nathaniel doesn't want to see Kevin. Doesn't want to think about Kevin. Kevin became his brother at age nine and Nathaniel had latched onto anything that had seemed like a shield. He remembered cowering before his father's rage and could see the same darkness in Tetsuji's eyes. Kevin had told Nathaniel that it would be okay, that Riko's moods could be dealt with, just play well and Tetsuji won't beat you. 

 

Nathaniel doesn't want to think about how wrong Kevin was. He doesn't want to remember his jealous anger when the Ravens returned from the winter banquet and Kevin wasn't with them. He thinks about Kevin's cast and it hurts because Riko has broken Nathaniel in every way he knows how but Nathaniel never had anywhere to run to. 

 

Nathaniel doesn't blame Kevin for running to Wymack. He doesn't blame Kevin for escaping that black and red hell and taking the last of Riko's control with him. He doesn't blame Kevin for the scars on his neck, the reason he can't wait to grow it out now that Riko won't cut it for him. 

 

He doesn't blame Kevin and if he says it enough it will become true. 

 

Nathaniel doesn't want to blame Kevin but sometimes that not enough. Sometimes it's not enough to not want to blame someone when they leave you. Nathaniel has Riko's voice in the back of his head and three months of hate fueled torture caused by Kevin's departure and he doesn't know how to handle this. 

 

He doesn't even realize how lost in his own head he is until Abby's voice calls out to him. His brain has already started to mark Abby down as safe and Nathaniel hates himself for it because it's only been five days and how dare he let himself try to cling to safety that he doesn't deserve. But despite himself, Abby is safe so Nathaniel listens. There's blood on his fingers. He doesn't even remember digging his nails into one of his still healing cuts. 

 

"Are you okay?" Abby asks even though she already knows the answer.

 

"I'm fine," Nathaniel says because he always is.

 

"Okay," she says softly and the pain in her voice cuts Nathaniel to his core.

 

\--

 

Kevin is at the court the first time he sees Nathaniel after that day. It's been a long eleven days. Andrew has kept him corralled in the dorms or on the court and no where near Abby’s house over the past week and a half. Kevin knows he could push if he really wanted to. It’s cowardice keeping him away from the boy who used to be his brother, not Andrew. That doesn’t stop Kevin from wanting to see Nathaniel, from needing to know that he will be okay. Kevin’s own cast is a rough reminder of the things Riko can take away from a man. 

 

It’s been a long day on the court. Kevin misses having a racquet in his hands but he still knows how to maneuver himself on the court. Knows he can get this team in shape if they would just try. He’s very aware that he is the best player on the team which is a rage inducing kind of painful. Kevin can see the talent these players possess. The could win if they would stop fighting each other and start focusing on the game instead. 

 

When Kevin leaves the locker room, the rest of the team not far behind him, he finds the lounge not completely empty. Nathaniel sat in one of the chairs, laptop out in front of him. The ex-striker started at the sight of Nathaniel. It was startling to see him here after so long separate, even more so to see him in colors other than black and red.  

 

Nathaniel didn't quite manage to school his expression before meeting Kevin's eyes. It was the look of a rabbit facing down a hawk that was gone the next second. Kevin couldn't even be sure that it has been there except for the way Nathaniel's hands curled, white scars standing out against the skin. Part of Kevin wished that the rest of the team wasn't right behind him as he tried to think of something to say but in the end Matt and Dan walked in from their respective locker rooms, the rest of the team on their heels. 

 

For most of their team this is their first look at Nathaniel. Admittedly, it's not a good one. This is not the man that Kevin promised would get then to finals. This is a broken down bandaged kid who can't move without crutches. He’s drowning on one of Abby’s old t-shirts and a pair of gray sweatpants with an orange fox paw on the side. There’s nothing Raven about this boy except the way he smiles like he doesn’t know how to mean it.

 

Andrew walks in without even sparing Nathaniel a glance and Aaron doesn't show much more interest. The rest don't react quite as calmly. Dan reaches for Matt and Matt reaches back, both looking vaguely sick. Raphael, always the bleeding heart, curses under his breath. James and Corbin both look like they've seen a rather ugly stray cat that won't get out if their way. They don't want to step on it but they don't really want much to do with it either. Kevin doesn't really blame them. One Raven had caused them enough trouble. When Riko realizes that Nathaniel survived he will be unrelenting. Seth gives Nathaniel a grin that is all predator before Allison steers her on-again off-again boyfriend away with a roll of her eyes. 

 

Nathaniel for his part takes their reactions in stride. This time his mask stays firmly in place as he lets Seth's unspoken threat roll off his back with an ease Kevin wishes for before turning back to his laptop. The rest trade uneasy glances before settling down around him. When Wymack comes in it's obvious he knew this before hand by the way he presses his mouth into a thin line before beginning the after practice meeting. 

 

"Okay, this is Nathaniel. Nathaniel, meet the Foxes. Foxes, don't bite."

 

"Coach, you wound me," Nicky says with mock hurt and Kevin can't help but roll his eyes. “I only bite when asked.” This earns a disgusted groan from Aaron and Corbin’s muffled laughter. 

 

"It's okay, coach," Nathaniel says, looking up. "I'm just here because Abby is. Didn't mean to get in the way of your practice." The blank look on his face is all too familiar but it makes Kevin uneasy. That was the face he wore when he was testing Riko's leash. He always ended up bleeding on the court the next day. It made Kevin's heart twist with old worry. 

 

“A polite Raven,” Seth says, sneer firmly in place. “Now where’d you find this one coach?” 

 

“Bleeding on your doorstep,” Nathaniel shoots back without looking up from his homework. 

 

Out of the corner of Kevin’s eye he sees Andrew straighten up, his interest caught as Seth snarls at Nathaniel’s clear dismissal. Kevin isn’t the only one who can smell trouble. Raphael is ready to shoot to his feet if Seth decides to lung at the kid. Allison flicks her boyfriend and unconcerned glance and looks like she’s already calculating the amount of money she’s going to win betting on Nathaniel’s attitude problem. 

 

Seth can’t see the way Nathaniel is holding himself. His shoulders are braced and he’s already marked all of the possible exits. He can’t run far but he can hide. He can bites. Nathaniel might not be armed but Kevin isn’t stupid enough to think him defenseless. Seth has no idea who it is he’s poking at. For now Nathaniel seems to be holding his ground and playing nice but that facade will break. It always does. And when the real Nathaniel comes out to play Seth will be in for a rude awakening.  

 

(For a moment he’s back in the Nest. Nathaniel snarls, “Fuck you,” and Riko smiles as he drags a knife against skin that hasn’t seen the sun for three years. Nathaniel looks back at Riko and laughs, a unbreakable thing that refuses to shatter.)

 

Coach’s sharp whistle brings Kevin back to the Foxhole Court. Wymack sends a glare in Seth’s direction and it seems to calm the possible commotion for now as they continue with their practice recap. Nathaniel stays quiet, working on his laptop, but Kevin can see minute twitches in his face. Nathaniel finds the Foxes just as laughable as he does. It’s as comforting as it is infuriating. 

 

Halfway through the wrap up Abby walks into the lounge and Nathaniel looks up and tries to smile. His mask is slipping again. Kevin can see that he's scared. What of Kevin's not sure. Someone who has survived Riko's wrath for nine years shouldn't be afraid of a five foot five nurse who owns rabbit slippers. Either way Abby seems to understand because Nathaniel stands on his own while Abby shoulders the messenger bag. 

 

Dan is watching Nathaniel and Abby out of the corner of her eye and Kevin knows she’s sizing him up, seeing what part he could play is the Foxes disastrous lineup. Kevin can tell by her smile that she’s planning on keeping Nathaniel and he can’t help but be glad. 

 

\--

 

Nathaniel is sitting at the kitchen table working on his homework and Abby was in the kitchen. It was an odd thing, listening to the sound of Abby humming along with the clang of pots and pans in use. Nathaniel had no idea how to cook, it was not what he was made for. So watching Abby peel fruit and season pre-cut meat to put in a kitchen pot was all sorts of new. He let his thoughts linger to the new sounds and smells while he worked on his Hamlet essay.

 

School was just a formality now more than anything. When he had a future at Edgar Allen, he needed a high school diploma to appease the education board. Now it was just a distraction from bigger things. Lacking exy practice, Nathaniel needed anything to throw himself into. 

 

"David might be stopping by for dinner," Abby said when Nathaniel put away his laptop to pull out his history textbook instead. Nathaniel lets himself pause for five seconds before nodding in acknowledgment. Then he goes back to his history book and pretends like his thoughts are on the second World War instead of his new deal (Wymack said he's wait until I'm back on my feet but what if-) until he hears Abby's phone ringing. 

 

The smell of cooking meat along with Abby's running commentary let Nathaniel know that dinner was almost ready so he assumed it was Wymack. Maybe he wasn't coming after all. One could hope. Seeing the look of forced cheerfulness on Abby's face Nathaniel almost lets himself relax slightly. Almost.

 

"Andrew and some of the boys are going to be joining us for dinner," Abby said, trying to hide her apprehensive tone. 'The boys' would mean Andrew's lot. Which would mean Kevin. 

 

Nathaniel shook away the thought. Kevin wasn't his problem right then, Andrew was. Deal with Wymack or not if Andrew thought he was too much of a risk Nathaniel was gone. He still remembered Uncle Straut's number, he could try bargain protection from him. It was risky, Straut most likely didn't forgive Nathaniel for Mary's death. Then there was also the proposition of trying to outrun to Moriyamas to even reach England. 

 

He shook his head, willing the thoughts away. Nathaniel could deal with people like Riko and from what he could tell Andrew and Riko had very in common. They were both cold, ruthless, and had greatly disliked people touching their things. Nathaniel was in no place to make another deal, but if that's what it took...

 

He survived Riko. He would survive this. 

 

It didn't take long for Wymack and Andrew's lot to arrive. Nathaniel was prepared for the most tense "family" dinner he'd ever had but luckily it didn't seem like Andrew was planning on staying. 

 

"Don't break this one," Wymack growls with a glare at Andrew. Andrew just rolls his eyes and motions to Nathaniel to follow him. Nathaniel doesn't. He holds his ground as the rest of the so-called monsters file into Abby's house. Kevin shoots Nathaniel a look, a pitiful and desperate thing begging him to give in. 

 

Nathaniel has never been a good listener. 

 

"I am not a dog," he bites out. "I will not come just because you twitch your fingers and glare in my direction."

 

"Maybe I'll get a whistle then," Andrew says with drug induced cheer. "Just come on before I have to make this ugly. Abby would be very upset with me."

 

Nathaniel looked to Abby before looking back at Andrew. It wasn't a comfort to see the worry in her eyes. Not really. Worry did nothing in the end. 

 

"You have ten minutes," Nathaniel said, this time looking to Wymack. His message is clear:  _ if he doesn't return me in ten minutes come get me. I can't fight like this. We made a deal, don't let him have me.  _ He doesn't bother waiting for a response before following Andrew outside. 

 

"Well if it isn't out local lost Raven, why haven't you flown back to your best, little bird?" Andrew says, pulling out a cigarette. 

 

"Your coach doesn't seem very interested in letting me go. Also, I do value my life to some degree. I'm just wondering why it matters to you?"

 

"You're not the only lost little bird here trying to be something you're not."

 

"If you think I'm here for Kevin you're wrong. I'm here because your coach has less of an interest in beating me to death."

 

Andrew’s smile says that he doesn’t believe Nathaniel so Nathaniel stares back. Andrew takes a long drag of the cigarette, hazel eyes deeply unimpressed.

 

“What will I have to do to convince you?”

 

“Abby won’t let me have at you until you can walk on your own. So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, yeah? So until then I suggest you stay away from what is mine.”

 

Nathaniel doesn’t respond, just balances himself on his crutches and waits. Andrew is unpredictable and Nathaniel needs to start leaning his moves if he’s going to survive this. So he holds his ground, digs his heels in, and waits for Andrew to strike. 

 

It doesn’t take long. When Nathaniel stays silent Andrew leans forward, cigarette in his hand still burning as he presses it closer to Nathaniel’s face. If he flinches the wrong way it’ll burn so Nathaniel wills himself to stay still. Blue eyes meet hazel and Nathaniel does not allow himself to blink. All he does is give a curt nod. 

 

It seems to be enough for Andrew, who puffs smoke into Nathaniel’s face before heading back inside. Nathaniel gives himself a moment to breathe before walking into the house. Nathaniel gives himself a moment to take a deep breath before following suit. Abby’s eyes follow him worriedly but Nathaniel nods at her in an attempt to reassure her. 

 

Kevin isn’t so easily quelled. While the others make their way to the kitchen Kevin makes the mistake of approaching Nathaniel. Alarm bells are ringing in Nathaniel’s head as he stays frozen in place. 

 

“Nathaniel -” Kevin starts but Nathaniel can’t listen to this. Not now. Maybe not ever. 

 

“I’m fine,” he bites out, more venom than anything else, and Kevin recoils. 

 

“I’m fine,” he says again and Kevin backs out of the room. 

  
Nathaniel is alone and he lets himself breathe. Three more weeks.  _ Three more weeks. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Tuesday everyone! Specific warnings for this chapter: nightmares and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
> 
> Next week: Nathaniel's first practice with the foxes!

The weeks go by and Abby is worried. 

 

Worried is an understatement. She's bone deep terrified for this kid who hasn't turned eighteen yet but has eyes beyond his age. Most mornings when she goes to check in Nathaniel he's already up and breathing like he's just run a marathon. More than one night, Abby wakes up in middle of the night to screaming. She doesn't wake him up after the first time she tries though. 

 

It's too much like the day in the car. She gently places a hand on him and Nathaniel bolts upright, lashing out with anything that could hurt as he scrambles away. A second touch and he goes still. It's more than just still. He goes pliable, completely unmoving on his own. Abby asks him to lay down because she's scared he'll start tearing at his stitches again and Nathaniel goes lax, completely defeated. Abby doesn't think he realizes that he's crying, tears falling silently down his face. He doesn't move for three hours and he doesn't speak for two days. 

 

Abby doesn't try and wake him up again. 

 

The speaking is another thing that worries her. Most days he doesn't say a word unless Abby talk to him directly. Half the time all Nathaniel says is that he's fine. The words make Abby's skin crawl. Other days he doesn't talk at all and Abby narrows it down to yes or no questions for the day. Sometimes he'll move his hand in a halfway aborted hand gesture and will freeze like he's done something wrong. 

 

Abby learns not to touch him. Never leave him alone during the day. She takes him to the court with her and it's the first time she's ever seen him want for something as his hand ghosts up against the plexiglass. 

 

It's worse when David is around. It might be a day that Nathaniel won't speak but when David drops by for dinner Nathaniel goes rigid and forces her voice to work. Most of the time it's scratchy from disuse and Nathaniel looks like he's expecting David to hit him. David stops coming by very often. 

 

"It wasn't like this with Kevin," she tells David one night. Nathaniel started screaming at 3 am and even though he's stopped Abby won't go back to bed. Kevin was terrified and he drank too much and he froze every time Tetsuji or Riko was mentioned or seen on tv or the radio. He never stepped back, fast as lightning, at an unexpected touch to back himself into a corner like he'll have to fight an entire room full of people just to breathe again. 

 

Things start to get better as his foot heals. Abby lets him do easy exercises and work up to putting his full weight onto his foot again. He's desperate in a way she's never seen before to get back on the court. Even Kevin didn't fight her this hard to return to practices. She thinks about the way Tetsuji doesn't let his players date and how he pairs them up to go to classes and how they never leave the court. Nathaniel didn't go to classes since he was still in high school and Abby has to wonder how long ago he had been allowed outside Castle Evermore. This is all he knows. 

 

It's more than just scary. It's terrifying. It's the longest month and a half of Abby's life. But the morning she takes Nathaniel to the court instead of the gym she thinks finally things might start getting a little better.   

 

\--

 

Nathaniel doesn't let himself grin because that would be too obvious. Instead he laces up his court shoes and let's his entire body thrum with excitement. Abby watches him carefully, familiar worry in her eyes. She's always worried and Nathaniel can't understand why. 

 

He's been working his way up to a full day of training, starting with walks, then light jogs, and lifting weights to keep up his upper arm strength. Now finally, finally, Abby was letting him back on the court. The Foxes' season is well past over but the returning players still practiced everyday. Abby didn't want him on the court with them yet but the early mornings were all his. 

 

He already has on some practice gear and is borrowing a stick until he can make his way out to Excites. Even if the gear fits awkwardly and digs into some of his still healing cuts this is still the best Nathaniel had felt in weeks. Five and a half weeks off his feet. A month and a half of not being forced onto the court despite broken bones and pain. An entire month without Riko's knives and it feels wrong wrong wrong but for once breathing doesn't hurt and Neil is flying high even as his skin itches for the familiar aches. 

 

Abby takes a seat on the team benches and Nathaniel makes his way onto the court. He sets up the cones and starts. His footwork has suffered but he will get better. His life depends on it. So he will. Abby's voice is in the back of his head telling him not to push it too hard, to stop when it starts to hurt, but it's not long before her voice is replaced by Riko's.

 

Soon it's not even Riko's voice in his head. It's just the sound of a ball ricocheting off the wall, cones hitting the floor as they go flying, cleats against the court floor. It's just a list of Nathaniel's mistakes he needs to correct. It's just counting the number of cones he knocks to the ground due to sloppy footwork. That's how many hits with a racquet Riko will deliver after practice is done. 

 

He already knows Jean will have to almost carry him back to their room later. 

 

Nathaniel pushes himself even as heat knifes through his chest. His unused leg muscles are screaming but Nathaniel keeps pushing and pushing. His vision starts to blur, going black at the edges, when Nathaniel hears the court doors open. 

 

55, he thinks, expecting Riko to be there with a racquet. Instead it's a woman. She's too short and too old to be a Raven. 

 

"Nathaniel?" she says and her voice is much too gentle to be Raven too. His memory starts to come back as Abby comes closer and his vision begins to clear. 

 

"How long?" He asks. 

 

"An hour and a half. Did you tear any of your stitches?"

 

"Maybe the one on my side. I can't really feel it."

 

"Can I put my arm around you? I don't want you putting more weight on that foot."

 

Nathaniel pauses, letting himself calculate the pain. Overall, he thinks, he's felt worse. That doesn't stop the pain that's jack knifing up his leg any less painful in the moment though. He nods because Nathaniel isn't stupid. His life depends on him getting back in the court as fast as he can and that means accepting Abby's help right now. 

 

She gets him back to the medical room and even though he's hurting Nathaniel feels almost giddy. He can still play. He'll be okay. 

 

"I thought I told you to practice lightly?" Abby says as she helps Nathaniel out of his practice gear. 

 

"That was light practice," Nathaniel says. After over a month of watching the foxes practice he knew Abby didn't understand. Normally Riko would've kept him on the court until he could run through the drills without knocking over a single cone or he blew his legs out. Stopping at the hour and a half mark made Nathaniel's skin itch to keep going. 

 

"If you think I'm crazy you're going to be in for a rude awakening when Kevin gets his cast off. He'll be on this court every night that Andrew lets him be. It's the only reason he's not insufferable. He pushes himself even harder than he pushes his team."

 

Abby just shakes her head as she helps Nathaniel take his shirt off to check his stitches. She'd seen his bare chest often enough over the last month and a half that she didn't freeze when she saw his scars anymore. He thought of her hollow offer to talk if he needed to and wanted to laugh. The idea of telling Abby the horrors of growing up in Baltimore and then in the Nest is ridiculous. It would break her. 

 

"You're not crazy," is all she says. "Just really determined. At least you didn't rip your stitches. Does your chest hurt?"

 

Her shrugs and Abby nods. 

 

"Tell me if the pain gets much worse," she says before letting the conversation drop as she re-bandages his arms. Nathaniel knows that he should stop digging into his cuts whenever he panicked but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.

 

“If I stay off my feet can we come back tonight?” Nathaniel asks. He needs the practice something desperate and he’ll take every chance he can get. When Abby nods, albeit reluctantly, Nathaniel feels another burst of relief in his chest.  

 

\--

 

“He wants to practice with the other Foxes,” Abby says to Wymack as they both watch Nathaniel scrimmage against himself. It was amazing, if not a little disturbing, to watch Nathaniel on the court. It’s only been two and a half weeks since Abby had allowed him back on the court and you can barely tell that he had a month and a half absence from the game.

 

“If you clear him, I’ll let him. They’re going to have to play together sometime or another.”

 

“Do you think he’s ready?” Abby asks. Wymack thinks about the way Nathaniel goes quiet around him, staying determinedly still. The way Abby says he watches Kevin obsessively during practices, muttering team statistics under his breath. The way he practices with a viciousness even when no one is watching, like his life depends on it.

  
“I think if he practices anymore on his own the kid is going to drive himself crazy. Plus, if he can teach Nicky footwork like that we might actually have a chance.” Wymack held back a sigh as he went back to watching the kid. Next practice should be interesting. Hopefully Andrew doesn’t try and murder this one. Wymack couldn’t afford to try and scout out a new goalie this late in the season.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV: Dan, Nathaniel, and Kevin. All characters belong to Nora, I'm just borrowing them.

“Dan!” Coach called out after their morning work out. “Your first call isn’t until 9:15, right?”

  


“Yeah, what’s up coach?”

  


“You interested in coming to the court with me? I’ve got a new recruit I want your opinion on.”

  


Dan nodded with a shrug and a smile. The Foxes needed fresh blood. James and Corbin are almost as bad as Seth when it comes to having problems with authority and were the entire reason Matt spent first semester crashing on their coach and some of second semester crashing with Abby. Raphael was a good kid and not a half bad player but was high on drugs half the time and failing academically the other half. Even if they were good players they’re all going to be gone next year anyways. Quitters, all of them.

  


“Why’s he at our court?” Dan asked.

  


“He lives nearby and it worked out the best.”

  


“He? Coach, you’re killing me with the testosterone here.”

  


“Don’t worry, the other recruit I’m looking at should fit in with you girls just fine.”

  


“Allison will be happy. She needs someone else to put makeup on. Apparently me and Renee are getting boring.”

  


“Well, this new recruit is anything but. Come on, he should be waiting. I had Abby let him in.”

  


“Awesome, Coach,” Dan says, jumping out of the car once it was in park. Dan isn’t like Kevin. She didn’t live and breathe exy. No, she just lived and breathed The Foxhole Court. This was her family, her hope, her life. This is the dream that got her out of North Dakota. She had two more years to make it right.

  


“Abs, he on the court?” Coach calls out. 

  


“Nope, I wanted him to meet Dan first if she came. And here she is! Awesome. I’ve got him waiting in the lounge.”

  


“I’m impressed you actually managed to get him to wait,” Coach says.

  


“Authority problem?” Dan asks, hoping it isn’t. Seth and Kevin are going to have enough issues without adding another problem to their striker lineup. 

  


“More like an exy obsession,” Abby says, almost exasperated. 

  


“Then let’s not keep him waiting,” Dan says and starts towards the lounge to meet whoever this new kid is.  

A kid is waiting, his back turned to Dan as she enters the room, and all she can see is a slender form and auburn hair. He’s almost as short as the twins but not quite. As he turns Dan feels something well up inside of her as she catches sight of the number 3 tattooed on his pale face.

  


“Dan Wilds,” he says, extending a hand. He tried to morph his face into a smile but all it did was come out looking cruel. “It’s nice to meet my new captain properly. I’m afraid we haven’t had the chance yet”

  


Dan honestly couldn’t tell if this was a joke. It had to be. For one that greeting almost sounded like an insult and for two there’s no way Coach could’ve convinced him to sign. Dan figured he was back in Charleston by now. But here he is, standing in front of her, calling her captain. It made her heart beat something fierce. 

  


“Nathaniel,” she says, taking his hand. “I’m glad you’ve decided to join us.”

  


“I’m glad your coach has given me the chance. But I assume you’ve come to watch my audition, not to chat. If you don’t mind I’m going to begin my warm ups.”

  


Dan just stares at him as Nathaniel leaves, trying to sort out her own confusion. That interaction was decidedly… not Raven.

  


“Coach, tell me this isn’t a prank,” Dan said, knowing he was right behind her even though he hadn’t said anything.

  


“It’s not a prank Dan.”

  


“You somehow managed to sign us the man who was supposed to be the Raven’s starting backliner this season?”

  


“Well, they kind of tried to kill him. It decresed his motivation to return.”

  


“But he signed with  _ us _ ,” Dan asks, knowing full well any other team would’ve accepted him in a heartbeat. All they would’ve had to do is look at the number on his face watch the way he plays to know that Nathaniel is the real deal.

  


“Well, last I checked Palmetto State University is the school name on his contact, yes.”

  


“Then we better go watch him play then,” Dan says and follows Coach out to the court, a smile already growing on her face.

  


He’s just finishing up his warmups as Abby, Coach, and Dan take a seat on the home bench. Nathaniel doesn’t bother to take direction from Wymack and just begins his own drills. As Dan watches Nathaniel shoot his way around the court she feels hope well up inside of her. This kid. This fucking kid. If this was the way he played after a month and a half off his feet how good would he be once he was back in shape? Could Nathaniel teach Matt, Nicky, and Aaron to move like that? If he could they might actually get somewhere this year.

  


“Does Kevin know you signed him? More important, does the monster?” Dan asks, tearing her eyes away from the court. 

  


“Not yet. They’ll find out this afternoon since Nathaniel will be joining us for practice.” 

  


_ Isn’t that going to be interesting _ , Dan thought. 

  


“I thought he just got healed. Is Abby going to need to patch him up after this?” Dan asks. She still remembered the second practice with the monsters. It had ended with Seth in stitches.

  


“They’ll be fine,” Coach says and Dan believes him. Coach has never steered her wrong before. After all, what’s a little bloodshed to a Fox?

  


\--

  


Nathaniel walked off the court at Wymack’s whistle feeling better than ever. The Captain is waiting with Wymack off the court and Nathaniel resists the urge to fall to his knees. Instead he grits his teeth and tries to smile. It’s been a long time since he’s tried to fenge genuinity. 

  


“I’m sorry to watch and run, but I have class. I can’t wait to see you at practice,” Dan says. Nathaniel nods. 

  


“Neither can I, Captain. I’ll see you soon.” With that Dan nods, grinning toothily, and heads out with a wave back to the coach and Abby. Nathaniel simply heads back onto the court. It’s going to be a long day waiting until practice. 

  


As he sits at the Abby’s kitchen table after practice he can’t focus. All he can think about is the Foxes’ statistics and every nitty gritty details Riko had dug up on their lives. He knows about the strip club in North Dakota, the gangs in Detroit, the rehab facilities in New York, and the foster homes in California. He tries to refocus on his homework and when that doesn’t work he counts as high as he can in every language he knows. 

  


It makes the time pass quickly even if it does little to quell his growing panic. 

  


There have only been two or three run ins between the Raven and the Foxes at the court and none had lasted more than five minutes since Wymack and Abby were always around. Even so, Nathaniel was getting a feeling for the team’s hierarchy just by watching them play.

  


The only one he has to worry about is Kevin. Kevin Day, vicious and stubborn and obsessed. Wymack might not be able to see the flaws in his playing style right now but to Kevin it will be obvious. He’s gone from playing every free minute he wasn’t studying, under the harshest and best coaches in the league to simply playing himself three to five hours a day. Nathaniel can feel his skin itch to be back on the court with other players. Even if the players are as dismal in skill level as the Foxes, they’re still other players. 

  


The Captain is already there with Matt Boyd and Renne Walker when he and Abby arrive. The Captain smiles at Nathaniel when she catches his eye and he tries to smile back. It’s still odd, doesn’t feel quite right, but he tries anyways. 

  


“Nathaniel, meet Matt and Renee. Starting backliner and goalie.”

  


“Nice to meet you Nathaniel,” Renee said, extending a hand. Nathaniel took in the goalie. Deceptively sweet, too individual, would never blend into a crowd, good christian girl who’s killed a man, dangerous but pretends not to be. Don’t trust her. Nathaniel takes her hand for only a short moment before letting go. 

  


“It’s nice to meet both of you as well. I can’t wait to play with you in the upcoming season.”

  


“Hopefully you’ll still be saying that after you meet the rest of this mess. Allison and Seth were right behind us so they should be here any minute.”

  


Allison Reynolds, daughter of a business tycoon and placed to inherit a fortune but instead gives it all up for a life in a brutal sport being torn down by the press at every chance. Don’t trust her, but she’s hardly a threat. Bryan Seth Gordon, absent father with too many siblings and a mother who worked to the bone. Anger issues, especially when it comes to being outshined on the court. He’ll try to be an issue but won’t make it very far. No past weapons experience. 

  


There was no one on this team Nathaniel couldn’t handle. Andrew Minyard was the only one who raised any threat at all and he had made it obvious that that would only be if he posed a threat to Kevin and Nathaniel was more than happy to stay away from Kevin as much as he could. 

  


“I can’t wait to work with you,” Matt says, turning to Nathaniel. His smile is ever wider than his girlfriend’s. “Dan hasn’t stopped gushing about your footwork. Apparently you’ve got a thing or two to teach me.”

  


Not sure how to respond without offending his new teammate Nathaniel decided to stay silent. Biting his tongue like this is going to be hard, but he only had to keep up at act until Wymack officially signed him. It set a dangerous precedent but Nathaniel would just have to grit his teeth and bare it. He couldn’t risk losing this contract. He couldn’t risk trying to make to it England.

  


Luckily, they were saved from the awkward silence by the entrance of Allison and Seth. 

  


“The fuck is the raven reject doing here?” Seth said, stopping in the doorway. Nathaniel bit back his retort as Allison rolls her eyes and pushes Seth forward.

  


“He’s joining next year’s lineup and we’re getting some early practice in today,” Dan says in her most authoritative voice. It’s only a shade of Riko at his most commanding but Nathaniel still feels the need to stiffen to attention. 

  


“What? Having only one of those black and red assholes around isn’t enough for you?”

  


“Well, now he’s an orange and white asshole just like you!” Matt says, grinning. Seth sent a glare in the backliner’s direction but didn’t seem willing to look away from Nathaniel for too long.

  


“How old even is this little fucker? I mean look at his face, he’s like twelve. Or maybe three.” Nathaniel watches the cruel smile split Seth’s face and lets the figurative punch roll off him. If the striker is looking to push Nathaniel’s buttons he’s going to have to try harder. “I mean, how do we even know that this kid is the real deal anyways? Not just a wanna be?”

  


_ Stupid _ , Nathaniel thought.  _ So incredibly stupid. I wonder if he thinks before he talks out loud?  _ Dan seems to be thinking the same thing as her eyebrows climb higher on her forehead. 

  


“Yeah, Seth. That’s a wonderful theory. Either way, I’ve seen him play. If he isn’t Raven trained he’s sure as hell good enough to be on their lineup,” Dan says. Their conversation continues but Nathaniel doesn’t listen. He’s too focused on the doorways. Entrances and exits. Andrew will be here soon and Nathaniel doesn’t want to be taken by surprise.

  


“Well, if it isn’t our little lost Raven,” Andrew says, his cold voice jerking the others out of their petty conversation. 

  


“Fox, now,” Dan says, standing as if that will make any difference.

  


“Really? I didn’t know leopards could change their spots so easily. I thought I told you to fly home little bird?”

  


“Can it, Andrew,” Coach says, walking in from his office. “We don’t have time for your shit. For the second time: everyone, Nathaniel. Nathaniel, everyone. Now change out and get on the court so we can see how this new backliner situation works out. Shall we?” He paused, as if waiting for someone to protest. When no one did, he motioned to the locker rooms.

  


“Okay. Change out. Meet on the court. Let’s go.”

  


Andrew didn’t budge from his place in the doorway, keeping Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin out of the team lounge. Nicky (gay, lived in Germany before his aunt’s death, not a threat) and Kevin (Riko’s #2, threat, do not trust, stay away) were the tallest and could easily see what was going on. Aaron, however, kept trying to push past his cousin to no avail. 

  


Nathaniel left them to their arguments and standoffs and instead went to Abby’s office to grab the gear he’s been borrowing and starts laps on his own. 

  


\--

  


“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” Andrew said, turning to the striker. “Tell me you didn’t know of this development.”

  


Kevin shook his head, still stuck in shock. Wymack had mentioned the possibility of signing Nathaniel but Kevin hadn’t actually taken him seriously. This was a mistake. Nathaniel should’ve been back at the Raven’s Nest weeks ago. Riko would kill him. 

  


“At least this will be interesting,” Nicky said as Andrew let them pass. “And to think we were thinking things would get boring after the season was over.”

  


When Kevin doesn’t move Andrew pushes him forward.

  


“Anytime now Day, your precious Exy practice is waiting,” Andrew says. Kevin shakes his head and tries to get the image of Nathaniel’s face out of his head. Scowling, he moves forward and gets changed quickly. 

  


Nathaniel is already jogging laps around the court like this is what he was made to do but stops when Dan steps onto the court and stands at her back until the rest of the team is there as well. Then they start the laps together. Nathaniel could easily outrun the entire team, Kevin knows, but he stays in the middle of the pack for now. If this is his attempt to stay out of the spotlight it’s pathetic. 

  


Luckily it doesn’t last long. Even fresh off an injury Nathaniel is still too superior to be outshined by these players. Just like Kevin, he’s been conditioned to be the best since he was young. It’s not something you can just ignore or forget. 

  


From his place watching the team Kevin blows his whistle and shouts, “Andrew! Get in goal. Seth, your mark is Nathaniel. Allison, I want you and Dan practicing your aim against Renee at the other end. Nicky and Aaron, watch. Focus on Nathaniel’s footwork.” He blows the whistle again and watches them go their separate ends of the court. It’s more likely than not that the girls will spend the time watching Nathaniel although that would hardly be a waste of their time.  

  


Andrew sends a sarcastic salute in Kevin’s direction and Seth flips him the bird but at least they get into position. Nathaniel readjusts his racquet and waits for Kevin’s signal to go. Once the play starts, it’s almost laughable. For once Andrew’s apathy in the goal is without consequence because Nathaniel doesn’t let Seth get within two yards of the goal. 

  


As he predicted, the girls are practicing their aim but are watching Nathaniel with rapt attention, half-way inthralled by his playing and the other half waiting to see how long Seth is willing to be blocked out before throwing a punch. It doesn’t take even ten minutes. Seth swings his racquet and Nathaniel ducks, pushing Seth back and then retreating out of arm’s reach. This time Seth swings for the legs and Nathaniel lets the hit land but doesn’t go down. Instead he braces his feet and holds his ground to shove back but this time he doesn’t retreat. 

  


Kevin signals to Dan to get between them, sensing an escalation. He’s not off the mark as within seconds Seth ditches his racquet and tries to land a punch. Nathaniel dodges again, retreating back towards the goal. 

  


( _ Rule number two: never leave your position on the court without permission _ .)

  


Again, Dan’s presence seems to have an effect on Nathaniel. His end of the fight stops as soon as she raises her voice and Seth just storms off towards the other end of the court. 

  


“Okay!” Dan calls out. “Everyone lineup. We’re running ten x-drills. Let’s go.”

  


The rest of practice goes as smoothly as Fox practice ever does. Seth tries to pick another fight with Nathaniel, but he doesn’t retaliate. The backliner’s pretend meekness is as suspicious as it is alarming. Nathaniel has never known how to keep his mouth shut or his fists to himself. What game is he playing? 

  


It doesn’t matter. It’s not Kevin’s job to figure it out. That’s on Andrew’s head. 

  


As they file off the court after practice, Andrew finally makes his move. One second Nathaniel is walking off court with the rest of the team and then he is on the ground with Andrew on top. Kevin doesn’t have to be a genius to know that there’s most likely a knife to Nathaniel’s throat. 

  


_ Goddamn it Nathaniel, don’t do anything stupid _ , Kevin thinks. 

  


Whatever snarled conversation they have on the ground of the court seems to satisfy Andrew and Kevin doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

  
“The lost little bird will be joining us on Friday, everyone do be on your best behavior please,” Andrew says later, back at the dorm, and Kevin swallows hard. Bad thing. Definitely a bad thing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers Columbia and everything that comes with it: non-consensual drug use and more violence than in the original chapter.

Friday came much sooner than Nathaniel wanted but regret did nothing. It didn’t make the feeling of being cornered outside of Abby’s office any less real as Nicholas stood in front of him. The older cousin handed over a shopping bag, not letting go until Neil took it, grinning like an idiot. 

 

“Andrew told us you’d be coming with us to Columbia. You’re going to need these. I don’t think whatever clothes you picked up from the nearest thrift store is going to cut it, plus we can’t exactly be seen with you in public if you look like a raggedy hobo. Feel free to take offense, your fashion sense is atrocious.” 

 

Nathaniel didn’t bother responding and just walked away. He had agreed to go to Columbia with Andrew for one reason and one reason only: to get the target off his back. If that involved dressing up in whatever the hell was in this bag Nathaniel would do it. Even if it meant dressing up like a 2-bit whore. 

 

Nathaniel almost regrets his choice, almost, as he goes to get changed later that night. The clothes are tight and black, ripped what was supposed to be stylishly so that more skin showed than was covered. The shirt cuffed at his wrists but because of the tears left his forearms practically bare as well as his shoulders. The pants didn’t expose quite as much skin but they clung tightly to his skin. 

 

Privacy was a new found thing. Nathaniel wasn't naive enough to think he got to keep it but he'd fight for it if given the chance. But fighting was for another night. Tonight was for surviving.

 

Abby looks at him, still worried. “Nathaniel, just be careful. Be safe and if anything goes wrong, call me.” Nathaniel had no intention of doing anything of the sort but nodded just as the doorbell rang. Abby gets the door, letting Nicholas into the house.

 

“Looking hot,” Nicky says after wolf whistling. Nathaniel ignores the way his skin crawls as Nicholas’ eyes roam over his form appreciatively. He starts to look a bit sick once he catches sight of the scar tissue that shows through. Nathaniel doesn’t move, doesn’t let anything show, and waits for Nicholas to take him to Andrew to get this nightmare of an evening over with. 

 

“Nicky,” Abby says, reproach thick in her voice. “Don’t make this a repeat of last year. Okay?”

 

“Of course, Abby!” Nicholas says, not letting Nathaniel’s silence or Abby’s warning deter his happy-go-lucky attitude.  _ Overcompensating, _ Nathaniel thinks. No one who earned a spot on the Foxes’ lineup would smile that easily. With one last worried glance Abby lets them go and Nathaniel follows Nicholas out to the car parked in front of Abby’s house.

 

Nicholas slips into the driver’s seat as Nathaniel is put in between Andrew and Aaron in the back seat. It feels like a trap but Nathaniel just reminds himself why he’s here. He walked into this willingly, a calculated risk, and there was no backing out now. Surprisingly, Aaron and Andrew both fell asleep against the car windows. Kevin looks back at him, opening his mouth to say something but stops, his eyes taking Nathaniel in.

 

Apparently four months can create a lot of new scars. Nathaniel doesn’t know why Kevin’s eye widen in shocked surprise. He had helped Jean patch him up more than enough times to know what Riko was capable of. Kevin spent another good minute staring at Nathaniel and Nathaniel staring back before looking forward and striking up a conversation with Nicholas. It was about Exy. Of course it was.

 

Nathaniel had no desire to chat so instead he tried to keep himself calm by counting as high as he knew how in French inside his head. Once the car’s headlights started flashing over exit signs for Columbia, Nicholas motioned over his shoulder. “Someone wake Andrew up,” he says. “Preferably without touching him.”

 

“What?” Aaron asks sleepily, rousing at the sound of his cousin’s voice. 

 

“I can’t remember the exit, do you?” Nicholas asks. In response, Aaron reaches over Nathaniel and shoves Andrew’s should. The other twin gets out of the way soon enough but Nathaniel has nowhere to go. Andrew’s elbow slams into his diaphragm hard enough to make Nathaniel double over. Aaron, completely unsympathetic, snaps his fingers over Nathaniel’s head at Andrew. 

 

“Exit,” he said. 

 

Andrew leverages himself on Nathaniel’s back and Nathaniel’s gasping breathes stop suddenly, going completely still. If Andrew notices, he doesn’t care. He stays there until he saw the next sign and says, “Not yet. It’s the exit that has Waffle House.”

 

“This is South Carolina,” Nicholas said. “Every exit leads to a Waffle House. Still breathing, Nathaniel?”

 

“Unfortunately,” Aaron answered for him.

 

The went back to listening to Nicky’s aimless chatter until Andrew broke through, saying, “Nicky. Pull over.”

 

“We’re on an exit ramp.”

 

“Pull over,” Andrew says again and Nathaniel can see the shaking of his hands. 

 

Nicholas pulled over and Andrew practically jumps out of the car. The sound of retching can be heard from inside the car and all Nathaniel can think is  _ withdrawal symptoms _ . This night would be worse than he originally thought. A high Andrew was dangerous but a sober Andrew had already proved himself to be deadly. 

 

Their first stop was just a simple dinner that apparently worked as an undercover drug dealer’s spot and from there they arrived at a nightclub. The music could be heard from outside, pounding like an over excited heartbeat and the people lined up outside the club were all leather clad with chains and buckles. It looked like a nightmare. Nathaniel had expected nothing less. Crowded place doesn’t give him room to fight back, they’re obviously familiar with this place given the fast pass inside they’re given, the bouncers had decent muscle but Nathaniel could take them. 

 

He tries not to think about how easily someone could take him away inside a place like that. Tries not to think about whatever Andrew has planned. 

 

Nicholas and Aaron coral Nathaniel off to a table while Andrew and Kevin get drinks. A feeling of surprise spike through Nathaniel as Andrew hands him a glass of water. Still wary, he only takes small drinks but the looks Andrew sends him from across the told him he had no choice but to drink. It doesn’t take Nathaniel long to understand, to feel sick, and to try and make a plan. As soon as his glass was empty Andrew nodded over to Nicholas, saying, “Go have some fun, you two. The night is still young.”

 

Aaron kept a tight hold on Nathaniel’s shirt back and when they finally reached the dance floor he pushed Nathaniel into Nicky with disgust. “Have fun,” he drawls and Nicholas grins, wide and hungry.

 

It only takes a second, one moment of pure clarity, to understand what is happening and Nathaniel let's his instincts take over. He's been in this position too many times before. (Everyone always taller, drugs clouding his mind, hands reaching out, Riko laughing in the distance.) He'd never been able to fight before, not without the consequences being too dire, but now he was a dead man walking. He was a free as he would ever be. The drugs haven't taken over his system completely yet but Nathaniel knows he doesn't have much time. He can't push Nicholas away in this crowd but he can aim for the throat. All he needs is one solid hit to get away. 

 

Andrew is too far away to be a threat so Nathaniel swings. He hears a choking sound and tries not to feel pleased as he scrambles off into the crowd searching for the nearest exit. He's expecting Andrew at every turn but by the time he gets to the back door it's Kevin blocking his path. 

 

"Nathaniel-" Kevin starts but Nathaniel doesn't care. Kevin never had to deal with the drugs in his drinks and the "study sessions" with Garret and Riko's knives or the strikers cornering him in the locker room after making a fool of them during practice. Kevin might've been a pet but he wasn't Riko's chew toy, wasn't property to be played with and skinned alive. He takes all the rage he's usually works off on the court and packs or behind his punch. 

 

Kevin staggers back, bright green eyes shocked. Nathaniel lands another punch and knocks Kevin down. He can hear someone shouting, can feel the bodies pressing in from behind and runs. The streets of Columbia are dark, stark silence in comparison to the club's atmosphere. He doesn't have much time to find cover before the drugs make him too confused and heavy to move properly. Find cover and wait for them to wear off is the best option. It's not without its dangers but Nathaniel would rather deal with strangers on the street than an Andrew Minyard out for blood. 

  
He staggers away, looking for cover, wishing this nightmare of a night to be over already.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I did get it up this Tuesday! Busy week so the chapter isn't the best. I've got an actual plan for next chapter with lots of Matt and Nathaniel bonding time because I love Matt Boyd with all my heart. Thanks to everyone who's sticking around to read this, I promise I'm getting to the heart of the story soon.

Nathaniel drains the last of his water bottle and curls up on one of the sofas in the foxhole lounge, head still buzzing, sweat making him feel sticky all over, his skin blistering from the heat. Back in Columbia Nathaniel had been able to pick someone's pocket once morning foot traffic got on it's way but it wasn't enough to get him all the way back to Palmetto via taxi cab. The rest had to be done on foot. 

 

At least he had had the sense to buy a few water bottles before paying for the taxi as well. After a night spent passed out behind a back alley dumpster and then a morning and afternoon of hyper vigilance Nathaniel wanted nothing more than to finally sleep.  _ I can't afford to _ , he tells himself. Practice should be starting here in less than an hour. He should already be warming up. But still, against his better judgment, Nathaniel curls up on the sofa cushion and felt his eyes drift shut without his permission. 

 

He wakes what feels like hours later to the sound of a door opening and is instantly on his feet. Did he sleep through practice? The Master wouldn’t let him. He wouldn’t. What happened? Where is he? It takes a few moments but the startling orange of everything made it easier to remember. For a moment he feels the panic quell but then he sees the Captain’s face and feel the world go blank again. 

 

His brain is yelling run but he forces himself to stay still. This is his Captain. He will not run. It will just make things worse. There's a phantom ache on the back of his neck and Nathaniel has to fight the urge to rub the pain away. Instead he stays perfectly still, not meeting the Captain's eyes directly, and waits for her verdict. 

 

\--

Dan feels Renee go tense behind her at the way Nathaniel jumps to attention and then suddenly freezes like he's the one who's done something wrong here. There's a moment of blind panic before Nathaniel's eyes go blank, downcast, and he braces himself for a hit. 

 

Dan isn't the type of girl to hit people. She will scream on the court and check the oposing team with the best of them but off the court she wouldn't dare do anything except to protect herself. She isn't the type to scowl and sneer and deliever the lowest blow. She isn't Andrew. She sure as fuck isn't Riko. She's never had another person - a teammate - refuse to meet her eyes and act like violence is something he deserves. 

 

"Nathaniel?" she asks, voice worried. "We've been trying to find you." 

 

She takes him in: the bags under his bloodshot eyes, the grime clinging to the day-old clubbing clothes, the new scrapes and bruises, the scars showing through. Dan feels old anger flare up inside of her. It's the same anger she felt last year when Abby told her to come to the house the day after Andrew had taken Matt clubbing. 

 

What did they do to you? she wants to shout, she wants to rage. Because this kid is 17 and was doped up last night because Andrew was a paranoid bastard that didn't care who got caught in his destructive wake.

 

"Nathaniel?" Dan asks again. "You hurt?" 

 

He shakes his head, still not meeting her eyes, and Dan doesn't believe him because this kid is unbelievable.  He lies like it's his second skin and he bleeds like it's nothing but sweat rolling down his back and he expects Dan to be the one to make his body turn red. 

 

"I'm going to contact Coach," Renee says, stepping out of the room. "Let him know he's safe." Dan nods and waits for Renee to react but he doesn't. He has eyes only for the ground and Dan swallows hard. 

 

"Nathaniel, look up at me," she says and tries not to make it sound like an order but judging by the way Nathaniel's eyes snap up without a second's hesitation she knows that she failed. "Come on. You need to eat and drink some water. We're going to go over to Abby's."

 

"Yes Captain," Nathaniel says, trying his damnedest to sound stable. Dan doesn't really trust herself to not wrap this boy up in blankets if he doesn't get rid of the blank look in his eyes so she turns heel and heads to the car where Renee is waiting. Nathaniel gets in the backseat of Matt's truck and together they silently make their way to Abby's.

 

\--

 

"What did you do?" Abby demands, leveling her stare at Andrew and Kevin. Kevin shrinks back, almost bumping into Nicky who is trying unsuccessfully to hide from the nurse's glare behind the striker. Andrew, as always, levels an uncaring stare back at the nurse. 

"It's not my fault the idiot decided to run off in the middle of the night," Andrew says and Abby lets out the most frustrated noise. 

"Andrew, what did you do? Without the bullshit please," Wymack says, knowing that Abby won't get anywhere. 

 

"I recall you giving me permission to take him on a test run."

 

"A test run. Not permission to loose the fucking car."

 

"He's probably already on the way back to Palmetto," Kevin speaks up, earning all eyes turning to him. The dread that had settled into Kevin's stomach hasn't gone anywhere and all he can think about is Nathaniel's 16th birthday and Riko's present to him. 

 

Riko and his favorite Ravens had spent a night out on the town with Nathaniel in tow. Kevin doesn't know exactly what happened all he knows is that Nathaniel was left two states away and had hitchhiked his way all the way back to the Nest only to be beaten by the Master for daring to leave. Kevin had had to stitch both Nathaniel and Jean up that night. He hadn't seen so much blood since Jean's first week. 

 

"How?" Wymack asks. Coach doesn't bother with asking Kevin why he thinks that, just believes him. It's almost startling, that trust, after everything that's happened over the last 24 hours. 

"Because in his head all he's going to be thinking is that he's going to miss practice and that isn't allowed to happen."

 

Abby and Wymack are looking at him with a mixture of absurdity and anger and Andrew looks at him with blank, drugged amusement. 

 

"So he'll what? Coach demands. "Hitchhike across the state? Steal a car? Hold someone up at gunpoint until they take him where he wants to go?"

 

"Nothing that will attract police attention, so yeah, he's most likely to hitchhike or pick pocket someone to get some money for a bus or cab. If he can't get a ride, he'll walk." Wymack puts his face in his palm and lets out a long suffering sigh. 

 

"Of course. Nicky and Aaron, you're both staying here with Abby to look around town for the kid in the hope that he's not as stupid as Kevin thinks he is. Kevin, Andrew, go get in my car," Coach says before muttering something about 'a fucking disaster.'

 

Kevin gladly heads for the door in order to escape Abby's wrath only looking back to make sure that Andrew follow him out. He rubs at his jaw, remembering that anger in Nathaniel's eyes last night. That anger had always been directed at Riko, never before at him, and Kevin's skin crawls. 

 

Halfway through the silent drive back Coach's phone rings and Kevin can see some of the tension ease out of his body. 

 

"Yeah, yeah. Take him to Abby's and try to get a damn sandwich in him. Jesus Christ. Thanks Renee," Wymack says before hanging up. "Congrats you two," he says, looking over at Andrew and then back at Kevin with a hard look. "Looks like I'm not going to shred your contracts. Nathaniel is fine, according to Dan. "

 

Kevin lets out a quick sigh of relief. They can work this out. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update last week! With school starting up I just got a little overwhelmed. I promise I'm not going to make a habit of it, especially with the cliffhanger I'm leaving you guys with. You're comments make my day and keep me writing, so thank you all so much!
> 
> Looking for some input: do you guys like reading in present tense or past tense better? Also, I'm planning on revising some previous chapters to work with the new outline I worked up last week.

Nathaniel knows he’s cornered the second Andrew walks into the room behind Coach. Kevin is trailing not far behind, his eyes unreadable despite the the mask of calm. He can already hear Kevin’s rebukes, same as the were two years ago, same as they were every single damn time Kevin had to stitch him back together.

_(What happened? You can’t play with your arm like that! Why are you provoking him, just keep quiet and you’ll be fine. I think the Master broke a rib. What did you do? Why are you like this?)_

At least the Captain let him change into some of the second hand clothes the nurse lets him keep. The last thing Nathaniel needs is Andrew seeing him weak. White hot rage bubbled up inside of him at the blonde’s smirking face. He refused to become another pet no matter how eager Kevin was to jump into another’s shadow.

“Well, if it isn’t the little birdie who could?” Andrew says, laughing something harsh and ugly. Coach sent the goalie a glare before turning to Nathaniel.

“The hell were you thinking, kid?”

 _I was thinking your players drugged me up and tried to kiss me and would’ve gone who knows how far if I hadn’t done what I had to do in order to keep those hands off of me!_ Nathaniel wants to snarl it, to scream, but he thinks about his contract, his promise to Jean, and keeps his mouth shut.

The Captain and Boyd bristle behind him and Nathaniel feels no safer with them at his back. These are all the people he had been taught to fear. (Wymack’s age, the Captain’s status, Boyd’s physical strength, and Renee’s lying smile. The way Kevin’s eyes say, “ _Why are you like this? What did you do?”_ ) Nathaniel looks up and meets Andrew’s eyes and he doesn’t let himself flinch.

“You drug me again and I will end you,” Nathaniel says, looking right past Wymack and directly at Andrew. His voice is dead but it doesn’t matter. “You or your family lay a hand on me one more time and I will cut their hands off, do you understand me? You want to rule me out as a threat? I’m sorry, I guess that’s just not going to happen. Because if you try to lay a hand on me I will show you exactly what I learned from Riko and it won’t be _pretty_.”

He spits out the last word, letting it twist and distort on the way out, coloring it with his rage.

Andrew is looking distinctly amused but Nathaniel knows it’s simply because of the drugs. Coach is staring at him, but Nathaniel doesn’t look away. And then he’s laughing and all Nathaniel can hear is Riko and it makes his blood run cold.

“Renee, bring him to our usual place tomorrow night,” Andrew says, turning heel and walking out. For once, Kevin isn’t right behind him, still frozen in place staring at Nathaniel. It’s only then that he realizes he’s wearing his father’s smile.

He can’t bring himself to care.

Coach shakes his head, sighing, and says, “Why didn’t you fucking call?”

“My phone was dead. I’m fine. I missed practice but I will make it up,” Nathaniel says, smile gone, not meeting Wymack’s eyes. The shift seems to throw the coach off guard and Nathaniel doesn’t understand why. He tells himself it doesn’t matter but every day is feeling more and more like unsteady ground and last night has only put him more on edge.

When Wymack reaches to run his hand through his hair Nathaniel can’t stop his flinch.

“We don’t have Saturday practices,” is all the coach says and it feels like he’s lying. “It’s okay kid. We’re just glad you’re alright. Abby is still stuck in Columbia so you’re going to stick with Dan and the others until she gets back, okay?”

Nathaniel recognizes and order when he hears one, even if he’s not used to them being phrased as questions, so he nods.

“Girls. Matt. Thanks for looking around for him here. I’ll see you three on Monday.”

The Captain nods, her fingers loosely entwined with Boyd’s. Renee looks troubled, her eyes lingering over Nathaniel and he thinks on Andrew’s words.

“Coach? Can I talk to Nathaniel before you guys go?” she asks, all polite and smiling but Nathaniel knows there’s danger underneath. There’s one thing he knows for sure though; she’s no Riko. She’s not hiding a sadistic agenda beneath her faith and pastel hair. Maybe she’s trying to fool others or maybe she’s trying to move on from what the Hounds turned her into, but either way it doesn’t matter. There’s something still dangerous about her.

Anyone who has a usual place with Andrew Minyard was hardly free from the shadows. Renee has blood on her hands just like Nathaniel does and he won’t forget it.

“If it’s about whatever shit Andrew said you’re talking about it with me here. I have a vested interest in the midget not getting locked up for attempted murder.”

“Sparring. I’ll be there to keep a handle on things,” Renee promises.

“And you think that’s a good idea?” Dan says incredulously. Matt raises one of his eyebrows in agreement.  

“I think it’ll be worse if Nathaniel isn’t there tomorrow night,” Renee says and Nathaniel can’t help but agree.

"This is crazy," Dan says through gritted teeth.

"Just don't get killed," Wymack mutters at the same time. Nathaniel has no intention of dying and he's fully aware that his sanity is on the fence on the best of days. He looks to Renee and she looks back, not blinking, and Nathaniel makes his decision.

"I'll be at practice on Monday morning," Nathaniel says and the coach sighs again.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'm going to go make sure that Andrew didn't hotwire my car. Dan,  entertain the kid and keep him off the court.”

Nathaniel looks to the Captain and then back to the ground. There’s a tense, awkward silence, that is eventually broken by Boyd.

“So, video games anyone?”

\--

This kid. This _child_ was going to be the death of him. He would stare Andrew Minyard down with stone cold eyes and a deadly grin but as soon as David turned his way Nathaniel looked like he was fighting the urge to fall to his fucking knees.

The kid didn’t flinch at Andrew’s threats or his knives but a word from Dan was enough to stop him cold, the barest hint of movement on Wymack’s part was grounds for a full body flinch.

This _goddamn kid._

\--

The group of four stay at Abby’s house. Nathaniel migrates to the dining room table to read over the last of his classwork. Matt makes himself busy putting together lunch so Abby wouldn’t have to worry about it when she got home. That woman had enough to worry about these days. Plus, Nathaniel was skinny, well muscled for sure but at only 5’3” with the build of a runner his size was more than a little worrying. If Matt hadn’t seen Nathaniel brawl with the best of them, he’d be worried. Then again, Nathaniel seemed to do perfectly well when he needed to hold his own. That terrifying display in the living room was proof enough of that.

Matt had never seen anyone stare Andrew down like that, let alone live to make threats against the rest of Andrew’s lot. It’s something Matt’s only dreamed of doing. Dan walks into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“What the fuck is happening?” she asks, jumping onto the counter to face him.

“Well. The monsters dragged Nathaniel out to Columbia, they did something to cause him to literally run the fuck all the way back to Palmetto and crash at the court. Then Nathaniel threatened to kill Nicky. Andrew laughed about it. And then Andrew plans on beating Nathaniel up tomorrow night with Renee’s help. And then we have practice on Monday. It’s gonna be a blast.”

“Just another day in the Foxes,” Dan says.

Matt leans forward to kiss her forehead. “Hey, maybe this is just what we need. Andrew trying to kill our new backliner.” When Dan just sighs Matt tilts her chin up to look him in the eye. “Hey, we’ll make it work. We always do.”

“Tomorrow we’re bringing Nathaniel to the dorm and showing him that not all Foxes are going to try and kill him. Deal?”

“Deal,” Matt says. He brings it up with Abby once she gets back and she agrees, looking worriedly at Nathaniel over his shoulder. So later the next day Abby drives Nathaniel over to Fox Tower and Matt meets them down stairs.

“Hey! Thanks for coming over. We know you’ve got your thing with Andrew later but I figure we could maybe talk some strategy or something before?” Nathaniel seems to accept this explanation with a blank stare as he follows Matt up the steps.

Luckily Seth and Allison aren’t shamelessly making out on the couch when Matt opens the door. The kid didn’t need to be any more uncomfortable than he already was. Matt would have to be stupid not to see the way the kid tensed in the doorway. It reminded Matt too much of himself walking into his dorm room earlier in the year knowing that Seth and Connor were likely shooting up in their rooms, feeling that itch under his skin.

Matt shook his head to clear away the mental image and walked into the kitchenette. “You want something to drink?” he asks. Neil shakes his head and stands awkwardly in the living room. Nathaniel seemed to do a lot of things awkwardly except play exy. The next hour or two is no less so awkward as Matt lets Nathaniel talk about footwork and running drills. It almost seemed like the kid was afraid of offending him as he talked, stopping short of his actual opinion.

“It’s all in how you watch the other players. If you know where they’re going, then you just have to be faster. And stronger. Which is where the footwork comes in,” Nathaniel says, keeping himself on one end of the couch. It feels like too soon when Renee comes knocking to take Nathaniel away. It feels too much like abandoning the kid but Matt doesn’t try and stop them. He knows it would be a bad idea.

Instead he waits. And waits. But Renee doesn’t bring Nathaniel back upstairs. When Matt finds her in Dan’s room he’s halfway between furious and terrified.

“I drove Nathaniel home,” she says. “He’s okay, but needed to get back to Abby. She knows him better than  us.”

“We need to fix that,” Dan says, frowning.

“We will,” Renee says and Matt wonders how she can sound so calm.

“He’s scared of us,” Matt says.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Allison throws into the conversation from where she’s lounging on the couch in Seth’s lap.

“And why do we give a fuck?” Seth asks, eyebrows raising. Matt’s starting to wonder if that’s all he can say on the topic of Nathaniel.

“Don’t be an ass,” Dan says, scowling. “We care because he’s a Fox and he’s a fucked up kid and he’s one of our new backliners so yes, please shut up.”

“Allison has a point,” Renee says. “Look at the team he came from, it’s going to take him a while to adjust to how we work.”

“Well he needs to adjust quick, I’m tired of dealing with his skittish shit.” Allison pulls back to glare at her boyfriend, barely restraining an eyeroll.

“Sure Seth. You’re just pissed you can’t score on him.” Allison is smirking. She’s still smirking the next day at practice when she sees the bruise on Andrew’s face. Matt’s feeling a lot less confident when Nathaniel doesn’t show.

“Where’s the bitchy backliner?” Seth asks.

“Gone,” Wymack says. “Now get on the court. It’s the last week of practices before summer break so let's make them count.”


End file.
